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...... [21 Jul 2010|09:46pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Why do I even bother anymore?
It going threw this worth it?
I'm so tried of this up and down, up and down, up and down.
Am I even getting anything back?
I put so much effort into making everything ok, only to have it torn down every night so I can rebuild it every day.
I want to make this work but shit! Will someone else put some effort in please?!
There is so much more I want to say but now is not the time because I'm so angry and sad that I'm not thinking straight.

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Since My friend has noticed... [04 May 2010|03:46pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Hello Skin James!

Since you have noticed that I haven't posted in a while I will post something just for you! ^_^

I have moved to Colorado, things are going up and down all the time. I hope that sometime this month I will be able to get a ferret. Currently I am knitting a ferret hammock to put in his cage for him when he arrive. I will post more later but I think you Mr. James are the only person who reads my LJ lol. Thanks for staying in touch. Toodles!

3 comments|post comment

Christian monotheism is pagan monotheism [01 Jun 2009|12:19am]
[ mood | awake ]

My mom is Christian and my dad is Buddhist/Wiccan. I've gotten a fairly large spectrum of religion from my grandparents who gave me Phillipino Shamanistic magic, Celtic/pagan Wicca, Native American practices. Not to mention all most all of my relatives from these lines see/hear/feel/talk to dead people. Lately I've been following the path of an Eclectic Witch. Following my own practice and taking beliefs from here and there. I still believe in the one God thing, and all of whats in the bible. I just think that people interpret it wrong sometimes and twist it to the way they want it. I strongly believe that Christianity has pagan DNA and think that the two intertwine perfectly. Paganism is just one group of people trying to reason and cope with a power they have trouble understanding, same with Egyptian mythology, Greek, and most other beliefs.

Christianity began with the Jews' Great God (and demons and devil), added the Pagan idea of a mother of God and the Pagan idea of a Son of God, and added the Pagan philosophers' idea of the Logos (Holy Spirit).

Yeah, but wait, the Christian Trinity of the three different Gods convolved as one God, that's monotheism. Well, you can say that, and we can still be friends, but to me it's a kludge. And anyway the Christians didn't get this theory down straight until the fifth century AD. And of course besides the Trinity, there are the other Christian demi-Gods—angels, demons, cherubim, saints, satan. And that my friend, is as Pagan as it gets.

Christianity has one Great God, in the model of Zeus or Isis, and lesser Gods, in the model of Apollo or Osiris. Christianity has angels, and demons, and devils—all supernatural beings. That's Paganism, pure and simple.

Since its very late I need sleep. I'll stop talking for now. But people should check out this site since it is a very neat site.


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Long time no journal [21 Mar 2009|03:07pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So it's been a few years since I have been on here. Myspace comes, and then Facebook. It's all the same, and its all pretty lame. Yet I keep circling back to it all. A lot of things have happened so here is a break down of it all.

Still with Justin 3 years and counting.
Got a poodle for my birthday this year. His name is Nauva.
Best friend Bevin went off to the army, and leaves for South Korea at 7:30 tonight.
Stopped being an art major in college.
Started a major in Animal Behavior and Training.
Got a sweet laptop from the boy toy.
Spore wont work on my computer and its pissing me off.
Got a job working for a veterinary office.
Left the vets office to work for the post office.
Got laid off at the post office and called back to the vets office.
Got laid off from the vets office.
Am now currently jobless.
Start my Animal training internship in April.
I hope to have my own business within the next two years.
My store will be the best thing ever!
I had a minor heart attack and am now on some stupid meds.
I still live in Royal Oak, but now in a town house with my mom and little brother.
I wish I lived in a townhouse with Justin, Nauva and my cats.

Over the past few years I have gained...
2 dogs, <---Cugi (Papillion) and Nauva
4 cats, <---- The calico kitten is free to a good home.
1 bird, <---- I still hate him.
1 fish, <---- He is free to a good home too. Accept he comes with the fish tank and everything.
a laptop, <--- its sweet
a new car, <--- Its a red Jimmy. Nauva rides in the back.
a new place to live, <---- hate the alcoholic lady next door.
a new job, <---- hated the post office, not sure how I feel about Madison (Vets office) yet.
a few new friends, <--- Scott, Klaire, Peter, Dan, Deborah & Gail)
a love of graffiti, <--- If I wasn't scared to get caught I would so do it.
a passion for magik, <----- always loved it, but its been re-kindled.
the ability to see dead people, <----- not sure if I'm ok with this yet or not.
the ability to read cards <---- still a little rusty.
A few bad ass looking hats <--- I love hats.
A cool knowledge of k-9 herbalism <--- this is sweet
A few extra lbs <---- going on a diet now... I will be sexy for summer!

Over the past few years I have lost...
A DS <--- nothing interesting came out. Then when I sold it everything awesome came out.
A PSP <---- really wasn't that cool.
A cat <---- Poor Nemo. His ashes are on my dresser in a cat urn.
A lot of money <---- most of this went to overdraft fees at the bank.
A job <---- it sucked anyway.

The good out weighs the bad I guess. I've been pretty fortunate these past few years. I still have my issues but all in all, everything is going pretty well.
Life is just a dream anyway. Nothing is real. So why should I worry about the stuff that seems bad when it doesn't really exist.
Although, that would mean that the good stuff isn't real either.
So what makes it real?
I guess what makes it real is when I give it meaning.
This makes me want to go off on a tirade about the meaning of life, and the existence of our perceptions on reality.
I'd like to think that I have become some what of a philosopher.
When one digs so deep into the metaphysical, this can really change ones perception of reality.
Reality is what you make of it.
We are the creators of our own reality.
I choose to live in my reality.
And my reality is full of awesomeness.


My reality...

I live with an overabundance of wealth.
I am healthy and feel whole.
I am loved & cherished by those around me, seen and unseen.

As I will it,

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Nintendo Wii [19 Nov 2006|06:37pm]
[ mood | sore ]

I have reached full geek-hood. Last night I waited outside Toys R Us with my boyfriend Justin and our friend Josh. We waited about 10 hours for the Nintendo Wii. It was fucking cold. I'm in lots of pain. I'm going to bed.

Cal-Dog, Out

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Update and a half [13 Nov 2006|03:16am]
[ mood | It's late and I'm very tired ]

I found out, that if you want Justin to open the door to his apartment, do not, I repeat, Do Not ring the buzzer on his door. Last night after walking out of his place I realized that I left some shampoo in his apartment and I needed that in the morning. So I rang the buzzer after a few failed attempts at knocking on the door. He answers the door with a fire poker in his hand! Dude! It’s not Detroit and that peep hole is there so you won’t scare your girlfriend or any other friendly people that might stop by. You’re not a very trusting person, are you Justin? Actually it was very funny to see him answering the door expecting a robber. ^_^ Oh Justin, you’re so cute sometimes.

Can you be addicted to sex? Is it a bad thing if you are? What if you just really like sex a lot? How often do you have to have sex in a week in order for it to be too much sex? I need more sex. Well maybe I don’t need it, but I want it. Justin, you got a job to do! ^_^

I’m working two jobs now. I work at the pet store in the morning and I work the Far East Trader in the afternoon.

I got some new fish for my tank. They all died within the first 4 days of having them and I can’t figure out why. My water tested fine, the gravel doesn’t smell. The fish didn’t get Ick or any type of fungus. I just can’t figure it out.

So before all of the stuff above happened I had a night of enlightenment a while back. It concerns my love life. If anyone actually wants to hear it I’ll post it. Mind you it’s very deep so you’d have to really pay attention and yet you still might not understand it. So leave a comment and let me know if you want to hear my rant about relationship stuff.

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Update [05 Oct 2006|10:24pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Here is an update on my life for people who care.

Life is pretty good. I'm working at a pet store, I really like this job. Then on the 30th of October I start working at The Far eastern Store at Oakland mall. So those of you who know where the mall is you should come and visit me in the Kiosk thingy.

I really want some type of pet that I can play with. A ferret would be really, really nice. A big bird would be cool too. But I defiantly don't have to time for a parrot. I could handle a ferret but I'll wait a while to get a critter of my own. For right now I'll play with the birds at the pet store. We have 6 baby cockatiels where I work. Their still on three hand feedings a day. I believe they're only about 4 months old. Since I'm the one that feeds them they think I'm mom. It's so cute!

I like Justin a lot. I think I'm getting better at talking to him. This is a very good thing. I like him a whole lot. He's wonderful in bed. I can't get enough sex. I really need to find a way to do it without him hurting his back but I don't want to always end up on top. Any ideas? I need to get better at sex. I wanna be good to the point where it blows his mind. He says I'm good now but I think he's just trying to make me feel better.

2 comments|post comment

Ticket?! [06 Sep 2006|11:32pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

So I have just gotten my first ticket. What for you ask? Oh, well not for pulling my insurance out asap. I had it with me, yes I did. But I had so many receipts in my wallet that it took me a moment to find it. Miss.Cop says “Well keep looking, I’ll be right back.” Right after she leaves I pull out my insurance and then I wait. When she gets back she has a citation for me. I was originally pulled over because I forgot to turn my lights on. She only gave me a warning for that. She said that this shouldn’t affect my driving record at all. At least she was kind of nice. But she could have waited and let me find my insurance. >_

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No More BK [17 Aug 2006|01:42am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So here is my story of how I was fired… or quit. I don’t really know what happened.


Kal the district manager calls Kim the store manager into the office. Kal tells Kim that she can’t control the crew, the food, the cash or the timers and that she’s fired. So I get a call from Kim telling me all this. Well at that point I had been thinking about quitting BK for at least 2 months or so. Kim was the only reason I was staying there. For right now I figured I could stay around, help them work the Dream Cruise because that’s going to leave them slammed. Well I’m in the office with Kal and first he says “Cali, before you do anything drastic talk to me.” I say sure and go about my work. A few minutes later Kim comes threw drive threw and asks me to get her certificates for her. While I’m getting them from the office Kal asks me “Cali, do you plan on leaving.”
I say “I’m not sure. It’s not a good time to ask me right now.”
He says. “Well then, give me your keys.”
I say “But I was going to stay to help out with the Dream Cruise.”
He says “Just give me your keys.”
And then the jerk says “You know, I really don’t want to loose you and right now is a bad time for you to do this.”
I’m thinking, “Wait, you’re the one asking for my keys here.”
Then he says “Call me if you change your mind.”
So I guess I quit. Though it seems more so like I was fired. I’m not sure. But anyway, now I’m free of Burger King and I can find a job I actually like. I’m sorry I can’t get anyone anymore free food.

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[24 Jul 2006|01:36am]
Gah, I'm so bored!
I can finally get out of work by 12:15 only because I lit a fire under the butts of people I close with.
I don't want to work tomorrow but I have to.
These Cheez-Its are very addicting. I need to put them down before I get fat.
I went shopping today, I actually got some cloths that I like. Go figure.
I really want my own computer, I'm starting to go nuts without photoshop.
I have many comics that I really want to color. Yes, I will post them on here when I finish them.
OK, I'm going to bed since I have nother better to do.
5 comments|post comment

All Is Well [23 Jul 2006|02:11am]
[ mood | *giggle* ]

Hello who ever reads this LJ thingy!

Here is an update on Cali.

Life is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!
I got a raise a work, Justin rocks my world and I moved in with my dad. For those of you who don’t know, Justin is my new boyfriend. YAY! I love this new boyfriend so much! I really hope he doesn’t think I’m too clingy. I know I seem to be a bit clingy with this one. For those of you who know me in real life, you guys know that I don’t like clingy. I’ve never been clingy with any boyfriend… but for some reason I’m kinda clingy with this one. I need to stop that, I don’t want to chase him away. I like him to much. Well so there isn’t such a thing as liking him so much. But I do like him a lot and I’m pretty sure he likes me a lot too.
Ok, I’m gonna go into girly mode now.
I like Justin so much! Just thinking about him makes me smile. I love hearing from him. Even if it’s a phone call telling me that he was just thinking about me. And yes, he does leave me messages like that! ^_^ I don’t mean to call him too much but I loves hearing his voice. When I’m not with him I want to see him. I love sitting around with him, even if that is all we do most of the time. Watching movies, talking walks, getting my ass whooped in Mario Kart, everything about this guy is wonderful. Well… he bites. He bit my ass once. He also whipped my ass with a beef stick. That stung like a bitch, but it was so fucking funny. I love holding his hand, and I love it when he puts his arms around me. I feel so safe with him. Like nothing is wrong. I really hope he doesn’t dump me. I would cry so much. It would really suck… and not in a good way. I know I don’t plan on dumping him. I think he’s stuck with me. I really hope he’s ok with that. ^_~
Since Gwen really wants to know and I didn’t have time to tell her today when she stopped in at work, here is some of the stuff I like about Justin. Yes… I can actually list things I like about him! I’ve never been able to do that with a boyfriend before!
He’s an artist.
He makes me laugh.
He spends time with me.
He is awesome in bed. I know I’m the one that needs practice. Don’t worry… I get lots of practice. I need more practice though. OH!!!!! Dude! I swallowed! Be proud of me.
I feel safe with him.
He’s easy to talk to. I feel like I can tell him anything.
I can be myself around him.
He’s hot… yes… very hot.
We can just sit around and relax, we don’t have to actually do anything.
He doesn’t yell at me.
When I bug him, he tells me. He doesn’t mope about it.
He likes animals too. He goes into baby talk mode when he plays with kittens. It’s so cute.
He’s gentle. (When he’s not biting me.)
Being around him is calming.
He comforts me when I’m upset.
I know he’d do the boyfriend thing and beat someone up if they were messing with me. I don’t really ever want him to beat anyone up though. That would be bad.
He’s funny when he gets drunk.
He always has some funny story to tell.
I love listening to him, no matter what he has to say.
We could sit in silence forever and I’d still be happy just being near him.
I love to cuddle with him. He’s so warm!
He’s intoxicating.
When I leave him to go to work, he visits me at work a little while later! ^_^
I think that sometimes he lets me win at Mario Kart… because I’m kind of bad at video games.
I could go on and on and on. But I’ll stop here for now. I’m getting very tired and I need to get up for church in the morning. For those of you who are gagging, I promise not to write anymore lovey-dovey girly stuff like this. Well I wont write it that often anyway. G’night whoever is reading this and peace out!

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